Confessions of a Gay Christian – Some Thoughts

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By Mike Kelsey, MBC Silver Spring Pastor

I just read an article published in Relevant Magazine and I think it’s an important article for Christians to read because it articulates a very painful struggle for some of the people in our churches. Here are several applications I took from it and I think Christians, especially Christian men, need to consider:

1.”Gay jokes” are unwise, insensitive, and unacceptable. If you struggle with this, I’d encourage you to study and meditate on Ephesians 4:29, James 3:9-12, and Matthew 12:33-37

2. Christians tempted with same-sex attraction need the Church to be a community marked by humility, compassion, and truth. Humility = I’m not better than you. Compassion = I am drawn to you in love not repelled by you in disgust. Truth = Love is not synonymous with unbiblical compromise.

Christians tempted with same-sex attraction need the Church to be a community marked by humility, compassion, and truth. 

3. Christian men shouldn’t be afraid of gay men. (I’m sure this applies to women also but seems to be predominant among men).

4. Parents, we MUST teach, emphasize, and model passion for the Gospel¬†and not just the “rules” of Christianity. D.A. Carson says, and I agree, that people don’t usually remember what you teach; they remember what you’re passionate about.

5. Parents, we should create an environment where our children can doubt, ask questions, and seek truth. They will do that with or without your guidance.

6. Pastors, we can’t just preach against homosexuality in the abstract, we must disciple people dealing with it.

7. Pastors, we need to equip the men in our churches to put off the homophobia of secular masculine culture, and put on the grace- and truth-filled character of Jesus.

Christians who stay faithful to the biblical view of sexuality will be increasingly treated with disgust, “moral” indignation, and hostility. And yet, out of love for people and faith in God, we cannot cave in to societal pressure (2 Timothy 3; 1 Peter 4:12-19).

Quite frankly, this is a hard one for me because many racists made the same argument for upholding New World slavery and, later, Jim Crow segregation. Bigotry has often been defended by appeals to purity. However, we must hold fast to truth, knowing that biblical truth, truth inspired by the Holy Spirit, is always accompanied by humility not self-righteousness, service not oppression. The wisdom of God has a distinctly humble quality to it (James 3:17). So while we will be treated like bigots, our lives must prove that to be a false accusation (1 Peter 2:12).

5 Responses to Confessions of a Gay Christian – Some Thoughts

  1. Great post, Mike. We cannot create a culture that condemns our gay-but-celibate Christian friends. We need to be careful that we are not using the gospel to justify our cultural bigotry. If anything, I think we need to celebrate the amazing example set by our brothers and sisters who are gay-but-celibate because they have counted the cost and despite finding the cost to be weighty, they have decided to follow Jesus.

    I find that there is a lot of pity for these friends and co-workers in the gospel mission. We feel that their lives are tragic because they deny themselves and have taken up their cross. Maybe instead of pitying our gay-but-celibate-Christian friends we should imitate them. Maybe we pity them because we don’t fully believe that Christ has been risen from the dead and redefined our conceptions of tragedy and joy. Maybe we need to live lives that look tragic to those that don’t know the joy of the Holy Spirit. I am not going to struggle the same, sure, but is my walk as a Christian defined by the same commitment to the gospel and discipleship of Christ? Maybe what I’m really feeling is guilt for not sharing in counting the cost as these Christians have.

  2. Thank you Mike! This is a real issue that if dealt with as any other sin we’re “born with” it can be overcome! This article points out that Biblical community support is crucial in regards to keeping once homosexual members of the Church IN our church because they have an ability for open communication!

    Much like divorce and abortion this is a daily struggle for many Christians only further confused by USA’s recent law changes. Young Christians are growing up under the false pretense that in order to “accept” LGBT peers and the idea of “equality” we, as a Church, must also support their lifestyle.

    Thanks again!

  3. I agree with both Jessica and John. And I must admit that this is a new approach for me as I am growing in the Lord. It is very important to treat our saved homosexual brothers and sister with the same respect and love as our congregation on a whole, and not differentiate. To our Savior, sin is sin. I am now 50 and although I consciously say this, I unconsciously have put more weight on homosexual sin as opposed to heterosexual sin. It is a “knee jerk” response for lack of a better word because I have been conditioned to think in this manner. But I do know that there is no difference. AND, the fight to stay pure is no different either way. Staying pure is staying pure.

    It does pain me to see a great many churches or Christians become confused due to our recent law changes as well. The word of God is our ultimate authority. We are to love them but we cannot support their lifestyle as much as we cannot support the lifestyle of a heterosexual living in sexual sin as well.

    I thank you for this article as it has helped me to openly confess my struggle with the subject and I thank the Lord for my growth!

    God bless and keep you.

  4. Mike, this was an excellent article, and I appreciate the frank open replies that followed. I so agree with your message of love and compassion. Reading these replies makes me proud to be a member of a congregation of people, that I know are compassionate. We must keep talking, keep loving, keep being compassionate, and keep loving. The world will know that we are Christians by our love.

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